y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
