i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
