i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
