so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he puts the penis in happiness.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
