I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
