Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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