Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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