are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
