ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
