you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
