Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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