Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
