i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
