1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I hate all girls vehemently.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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