It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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