I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
