This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
