Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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