My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize