is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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