Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize