I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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