Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
