remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize