Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Drunk is not a location!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
