It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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