why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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