he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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