my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
