eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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