3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize