Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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