New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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