Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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