WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
