so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize