We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
