You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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