I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
