Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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