brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize