Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
