Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
