I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
