I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She bit a glass in half.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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