You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
