my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize