Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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