Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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