we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
