You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
