my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
