No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Randomize