No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
