We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
