Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
