Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
