I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
