am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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