Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
