what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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