Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
