i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
