Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
