i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
