I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
