I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
