id be glad to
i think i have two assholes
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize