i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
